Christmas 2022 Scott Murray
Happy Xmas to you all.
I hope you don’t mind but I’m not planning to make a deep dive into theology this morning. 35 years of Xmas sermons and I fear I will repeat myself. And you all, countless years of being on the receiving end of Xmas sermons. Maybe we can all try to recall bits and pieces and put a sermon together for this morning and save me the work.
So rather than theology, I would like to talk about Xmas presents instead, because, well, maybe because they’re more interesting.
I wonder, Can you remember any of the presents you received last year? Received from whom? Some of those can be quite special because you attach the giver with the gift. Can you remember gifts which you gave? Can you recall the best present you ever received? Or even harder, perhaps, the best one you ever gave? That’s harder, because often we don’t know how the receiver will value our giving. Let’s think about that for second. Have you ever reflected on your gift giving? Do I give so that I will be remembered as the giver, or do I give for the simple pleasure of the one receiving, hoping he/she will enjoy it? Do I let it (the gift) go out of my hands without any further expectation? (Please tell you love it!, That you’ll use it every day! ) Oh, honey, Aunt Mary is coming over for tea. Quick, get out those awful cups she gave us out of the closet.
This is really just by way an introduction, but I would like you, however, to remember what the feeling of letting your gift go might feel like as we continue on.
By way of illustration, I happen to have three presents to give to each of you this morning. Yes, just like the wise men of old. And I give them with no expectation, When I give them, I will let go of them, so to speak.. But if you decide to share them with others, please do so in this same way, let them go.
Oh, by the way, spoiler alert. I am actually giving you the keys which unlock the kingdom. Seriously. If you want to see your world in the same light as Jesus did, these three gifts will change your perspective. Oh, and product disclaimer, these are physical presents!
Present One. Be kind. What? Maybe you were expecting a bottle of wine? Not this year. Yes, I know, we all learned this in kindergarten. Sounds like one of my parents speaking to me. And, of course, as adults, we all probably think of ourselves as kind persons. But few of us here are brave enough to ask for actual feedback from the people around us!
But wait, isn’t Christianity is all about love, you ask? We have that wonderful passage from Paul about love. God is love. Love your neighbor. etc. But when I ask you, what is love? Describe it to me? Put a finger on it. well… Jesus said, Love one another. That’s a nice phrase. But how? Loving someone can go wrong in so many ways. I’m doing this because I love you.
But my five year old Scott and this 65 year old Scott know what it is to be kind. I don’t need to read a theological treatise to recognize it. I know when I’ve been kind to someone. We know how it feels when kindness is extended to us. There is never a mixed message here with kindness. Maybe kindness is love in motion, love becoming actual and concrete?
Mystics of all traditions, down through the centuries, they all say it boils down to being kind. Not being one with the universe, or being super spiritual. We use the word spiritual these days almost as ambiguously as love. Me, I don’t know what it means to be spiritual, but I know that a kind act has a positive effect on persons and adds to community more than long winded prayers. It also changes me and research has soon that just the observation of a kind act with create positive reactions in the observer.
Lastly, with kindness, it can be exercised anytime anywhere, opportunities pop up constantly. Of course many acts of kindness are spontaneous (here, take my seat) but I think kindness best benefits giver and receiver when it is done in secret, where the giver receives no accolades for being kind.
Present Two. I know you all will find this hard to believe, but there are actual times when I do not manage to be kind to others around me. I often claim it to be a blood sugar issue if it’s close to meal time, but my wife disagrees with me on this. So what does one do when they have been unkind? Ask your five year old self. “I’m sorry. I was unkind.” Again, this sounds simple on paper. But think back and watch your 5 year old self. I can see my mom having to push me forward several times, me looking at my feet, before I can say I’m sorry. Sort of stings a little, doesn’t it? But you know, “I’m sorry “ is a fire extinguisher for relationships in trouble. It’s the only way to put out the fire, to get the damage under control before it is too late. As soon as you’ve realized you’re in the wrong, apologize. Everyone, EVERYONE, makes mistakes. Showing yourself as a humble human being actually creates a more trusting relationship.
Present Three. In review, Be kind. Say “I’m sorry” when I’ve been unkind. What is left? Ah, what about when someone is unkind to me? I don’t know about you, but in my mind, there sure seems to be a lot of people who fit that description. When I get in the car, it seems like a special alert goes out to every other car, “mess up scott’s day”. But of course, that is just my perception. Now, many many events where we might take as unkind acts toward us are truly created/labeled “unkind” strictly from our side, generated by our own self-centered perceptions. Laughably, like my driving time. No one is out to get me. A change in how I perceive things (maybe his mother is sick and has to rush to the hospital, that’s why he cut me off) cools things off to “well, whatever, god speed. Peace be with you.”
But, seriously, there are times when someone will intentionally be unkind to us. Then what? Ask your five year old self. And he/she will reply, ”say, I forgive you” Depending on the circumstance, that may be a hard one to get out of the mouth. Harder than saying I’m sorry, isn’t it? Especially, especially when the other person doesn’t say “I’m sorry”. But “I forgive you” is not a response to “I’m sorry”. It shouldn’t depend on “I’m sorry” being said first or even at all.
We do not know what circumstances have brought that other person to this action. We almost never know nor understand another’s life situation. And honestly, we barely are conscious of our own motivations in the acts we do. Giving forgiveness arises from this realization (I am more like this person than I am unlike), and is given in the faith that were the situation switched, you would be forgiven as well. Forgiveness, surprisingly, has tremendous power on the giver.
And to me, this phrase might best be done silently unless the instance absolutely demands it. “I forgive you” out loud can too easily become a weapon, a way to place yourself about the other. Obviously, there are times when the other needs to hear these words to re-balance themselves. Just be aware of the negative power I forgive you can have if spoken.
These three presents have the power to reveal the kingdom of heaven to us, here, now. As you practice them, the eyes of your heart will open more and more and you will see the beauty of what Jesus himself saw. And you’ll begin to shift your own perceptions in relationships. Instead of me/other, a blending will start happening. You will see more of yourself in others and others in yourself. In forgiving others, you are forgiving yourself as well.
Be kind. I’m sorry. I forgive you. Christmas presents from your five old self.
Happy Xmas to you all.
I hope you don’t mind but I’m not planning to make a deep dive into theology this morning. 35 years of Xmas sermons and I fear I will repeat myself. And you all, countless years of being on the receiving end of Xmas sermons. Maybe we can all try to recall bits and pieces and put a sermon together for this morning and save me the work.
So rather than theology, I would like to talk about Xmas presents instead, because, well, maybe because they’re more interesting.
I wonder, Can you remember any of the presents you received last year? Received from whom? Some of those can be quite special because you attach the giver with the gift. Can you remember gifts which you gave? Can you recall the best present you ever received? Or even harder, perhaps, the best one you ever gave? That’s harder, because often we don’t know how the receiver will value our giving. Let’s think about that for second. Have you ever reflected on your gift giving? Do I give so that I will be remembered as the giver, or do I give for the simple pleasure of the one receiving, hoping he/she will enjoy it? Do I let it (the gift) go out of my hands without any further expectation? (Please tell you love it!, That you’ll use it every day! ) Oh, honey, Aunt Mary is coming over for tea. Quick, get out those awful cups she gave us out of the closet.
This is really just by way an introduction, but I would like you, however, to remember what the feeling of letting your gift go might feel like as we continue on.
By way of illustration, I happen to have three presents to give to each of you this morning. Yes, just like the wise men of old. And I give them with no expectation, When I give them, I will let go of them, so to speak.. But if you decide to share them with others, please do so in this same way, let them go.
Oh, by the way, spoiler alert. I am actually giving you the keys which unlock the kingdom. Seriously. If you want to see your world in the same light as Jesus did, these three gifts will change your perspective. Oh, and product disclaimer, these are physical presents!
Present One. Be kind. What? Maybe you were expecting a bottle of wine? Not this year. Yes, I know, we all learned this in kindergarten. Sounds like one of my parents speaking to me. And, of course, as adults, we all probably think of ourselves as kind persons. But few of us here are brave enough to ask for actual feedback from the people around us!
But wait, isn’t Christianity is all about love, you ask? We have that wonderful passage from Paul about love. God is love. Love your neighbor. etc. But when I ask you, what is love? Describe it to me? Put a finger on it. well… Jesus said, Love one another. That’s a nice phrase. But how? Loving someone can go wrong in so many ways. I’m doing this because I love you.
But my five year old Scott and this 65 year old Scott know what it is to be kind. I don’t need to read a theological treatise to recognize it. I know when I’ve been kind to someone. We know how it feels when kindness is extended to us. There is never a mixed message here with kindness. Maybe kindness is love in motion, love becoming actual and concrete?
Mystics of all traditions, down through the centuries, they all say it boils down to being kind. Not being one with the universe, or being super spiritual. We use the word spiritual these days almost as ambiguously as love. Me, I don’t know what it means to be spiritual, but I know that a kind act has a positive effect on persons and adds to community more than long winded prayers. It also changes me and research has soon that just the observation of a kind act with create positive reactions in the observer.
Lastly, with kindness, it can be exercised anytime anywhere, opportunities pop up constantly. Of course many acts of kindness are spontaneous (here, take my seat) but I think kindness best benefits giver and receiver when it is done in secret, where the giver receives no accolades for being kind.
Present Two. I know you all will find this hard to believe, but there are actual times when I do not manage to be kind to others around me. I often claim it to be a blood sugar issue if it’s close to meal time, but my wife disagrees with me on this. So what does one do when they have been unkind? Ask your five year old self. “I’m sorry. I was unkind.” Again, this sounds simple on paper. But think back and watch your 5 year old self. I can see my mom having to push me forward several times, me looking at my feet, before I can say I’m sorry. Sort of stings a little, doesn’t it? But you know, “I’m sorry “ is a fire extinguisher for relationships in trouble. It’s the only way to put out the fire, to get the damage under control before it is too late. As soon as you’ve realized you’re in the wrong, apologize. Everyone, EVERYONE, makes mistakes. Showing yourself as a humble human being actually creates a more trusting relationship.
Present Three. In review, Be kind. Say “I’m sorry” when I’ve been unkind. What is left? Ah, what about when someone is unkind to me? I don’t know about you, but in my mind, there sure seems to be a lot of people who fit that description. When I get in the car, it seems like a special alert goes out to every other car, “mess up scott’s day”. But of course, that is just my perception. Now, many many events where we might take as unkind acts toward us are truly created/labeled “unkind” strictly from our side, generated by our own self-centered perceptions. Laughably, like my driving time. No one is out to get me. A change in how I perceive things (maybe his mother is sick and has to rush to the hospital, that’s why he cut me off) cools things off to “well, whatever, god speed. Peace be with you.”
But, seriously, there are times when someone will intentionally be unkind to us. Then what? Ask your five year old self. And he/she will reply, ”say, I forgive you” Depending on the circumstance, that may be a hard one to get out of the mouth. Harder than saying I’m sorry, isn’t it? Especially, especially when the other person doesn’t say “I’m sorry”. But “I forgive you” is not a response to “I’m sorry”. It shouldn’t depend on “I’m sorry” being said first or even at all.
We do not know what circumstances have brought that other person to this action. We almost never know nor understand another’s life situation. And honestly, we barely are conscious of our own motivations in the acts we do. Giving forgiveness arises from this realization (I am more like this person than I am unlike), and is given in the faith that were the situation switched, you would be forgiven as well. Forgiveness, surprisingly, has tremendous power on the giver.
And to me, this phrase might best be done silently unless the instance absolutely demands it. “I forgive you” out loud can too easily become a weapon, a way to place yourself about the other. Obviously, there are times when the other needs to hear these words to re-balance themselves. Just be aware of the negative power I forgive you can have if spoken.
These three presents have the power to reveal the kingdom of heaven to us, here, now. As you practice them, the eyes of your heart will open more and more and you will see the beauty of what Jesus himself saw. And you’ll begin to shift your own perceptions in relationships. Instead of me/other, a blending will start happening. You will see more of yourself in others and others in yourself. In forgiving others, you are forgiving yourself as well.
Be kind. I’m sorry. I forgive you. Christmas presents from your five old self.